Lounging on my couch naked, sipping tea with rollers in my hair (I know, it’s a rough life) and I am in a contemplative sort of mood. I have spent the afternoon with the incredibly talented Siouxsie Q who is a San Francisco based performance artist, activist, sex worker, and co-creator of brilliant new podcast called This American Whore.
You have to check it out. The podcast follows Siouxsie Q as she provides us all with a glimpse into her world of sex work. Even her blurb is amazing, “Whore, Sexworker, Harlot, Camgirl, Hooker, Pornstar, Stripper, Dominatrix, Strumpet or whatever name you prefer, Siouxsie strives to humanize people in the sex industry by sharing their stories, art, and voices. Tackling issues from politics to comic books, Siouxsie charms her way into your heart with her personal brand of pinup, mermaid superhero, ukulele and glitter that will make your inner fanboy fall head over heels in love.”
My inner fanboy was tickled, and now I’m thinking about the politics of whoredom.
Sitting, teetering some days, on the legal end of the sex work spectrum as a stripper, I wonder about the place of my voice in this important social discussion.
Given the fact that the very word “whore” has been used to shame, condemn, and deny access to women since, well, since the oldest profession began, what does it mean in this day and age to identify as a whore?
The services I provide are legal, and billed as entertainment but I personally have a very difficult time believing I am not participating in sex work, as many strippers legitimately claim. But what does sex work even mean? A sex “act” is so blurry. If I send someone home with a boner, was it a sex act? If someone tells me he got off last night thinking about me, and then tips me for dancing, was it a sex act? I could argue I am more of a mental/fantasy player, but I am a player nonetheless in the world of sexuality, desire, and gettin’ paid.
Personally, I think this generation has a lot of work to do to move through the fear that we have inherited as part of our cultural program around intimacy and sex in general. If more of us could practice fearlessness in the face of authority, we could begin to acknowledge the benefits and potential for awakening that sexual relationships provide, beyond the marriage myth. It could explode our hetero and monogamy-normative ideas of when, where and how sex is appropriate and beneficial adult behavior. Ok, Love-Geek moment, but this is why I love this new podcast, and the conversations that will surely spring up in its wake.
A final thought…
I meet a lot of men who tell me they would be in “trouble” if their wife or girlfriend found out they had been to a strip club. Imbedded in this taboo is the idea that many women hold that, HOW could he choose that WHORE over ME?
Ladies, he is not choosing anyone over you (except, of course, those genius men who do love dating and loving and committing to strippers and whores).
In discussing this women-hating-whores phenomenon with Siouxie Q, we got down to the hard fact that it is often the variety of sexual stimulation provided in these cases, that makes it possible for men to continue to stay with their girlfriends or wives. This whore is making your partnership work for you Girl!
This and so much more about whoredom at the new podcast www.ThisAmericanWhore.com
I know I will be tuning in, and writing more soon. Would love to hear your comments in the comment section.
Thanks Lovelies!
xxx Ster£ing
